


Mourning Sex

by Jokess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkwardness, Earth C (Homestuck), F/M, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Loss of Virginity, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jokess/pseuds/Jokess
Summary: On Earth C, in an unspecified AU of some sort which might just be, 'Not ^2 compliant' Dave and Terezi skip out on talking about buttloads of unresolved feelings and past in favor of fucking with feeling.
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider
Kudos: 5
Collections: HSCCS Promptfest 2020





	Mourning Sex

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HSCCSPromptfest2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HSCCSPromptfest2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Just requesting sappy first-time smut for one of the listed pairings. I prefer something canon compliant or at least adjacent, whether that mean meteorstuck (aged up or not), doomed timelines, epilogue-era, go wild so long as it's recognizably still Homestuck. Did they wait until they're 18? Do they regret how it happened or who it was with? Were there painful or embarrassing mistakes? Maybe the feelings about it are not symmetrical. Or it could be ideal and soft and perfect because of the power of true love. Anything exploring the theme of "first time" is cool beanz. Cis or trans headcanons are both perfectly acceptable if they're how you prefer to portray the characters.

Terezi was sure, in all her nigh-infinite wisdom garnered from being a seer and mind player, that sex was no way to mourn a friend, especially one who wasn’t dead and especially Vriska. She would have laughed at her from wherever she was in the nether between this world, Earth C, and the Void for considering the act, but the joke was on her. Dave was hot; he smelled even better than her nose said he looked, and he was just as much a virgin as she was. That one might not be a plus, the possibilities unfurled before her seemed to be filled with so much awkwardness, but she wouldn’t have considered sleeping with him if he wasn’t a virgin because there was only one other person he’d have fucked and she was not getting into that. It was too complicated, too messy, too hot. She needed something, someone, cool even if he was a big fat fake and ran so much warmer than she did.

“So not to be rude and xenophobic as fuck, but just what the fuck is it that I’m looking at here Pyrope?”

“That would be my bulge Dave, I would have thought you of all people would know what one looked like since you’re acting like a massive bulge-head right now.”

“Okay, you got me there, but Terezi, you have to understand I am your average nineteen-year-old cool guy, just your typical human male with a dick of his own between his legs. So when someone, anyone has a dick that’s wiggling for fuck’s sake, Jesus Christ, it’s a little unnerving.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s hot as fuck too. Like, sign me the hell up for having that wrapped around my dick like the world’s clingiest boa constrictor. And I know you have nooks too so you could literally fuck yourself, which is bonus hot as fuckness, but still, it’s just- dicks ain’t supposed to be prehensile, man. Or well, that’s what I thought, but obviously, they are. I think it’s hot, and now I have to deal with the fact that not only do I want to fuck my mom, but also a hot alien chick with a better dick than I’ve got.”

From experience, Terezi knew that if she did not stop this now, Dave would have gone on forever. And as enticing as getting more blackmail on Dave, his ridiculous kinks, crush on Roxy, and any lingering feelings he might have for anyone else, she hadn’t stripped naked just to gather intel, not this time. So she kissed him. She walked up to him moments before his massive and delicious cherry red blush would have devolved into stammering, grabbed him by the collar of his stupid godtier PJs and planted a wet, sloppy kiss complete with tongue on his stupid, cool guy face.

The startled, high pitched squawk she got for her efforts was so worth being shoved onto the couch she’d been lounging on in the minutes before stripping. “That was for saying I had a better bulge than you.”

“And the tongue?” Dave said, his voice right back to neutral despite the fact that he was wiping troll slobber off his lips.

“That was for being xenophobic. You didn’t hear me talking about how weird it was your bulge is all stiff, inflexible and immobile, right?”

“Yeah, well, Terezi, I hate to break it to you, but in case you didn’t notice, you’re fucking blind. So if you could see that we’d have a fucking problem. And no, don’t. Just do not even get fucking started on being able to smell my dick, thanks.”

“It smells like mayonnaise and shame. Also, fuck you, I’m the only one allowed to joke about being blind since, yes, I still am. Help a poor, helpless blind girl out and remind her what she’s wearing again?”

“... Nothin’ You’re naked as your troll birthday.”

“I knew I felt a draft in here. And will the defense please remind the courtroom what he is wearing?”

“Role play, really? A little kinky for our first time, don’t you think?”

“Answer the question, counsel.”

Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades though he couldn’t quite deny that he was turned on. The role play was a bit strange, but so was Terezi. Also, she really was hot. All elbows, knees, and sharp points which looked wicked enough to break skin, she stood even taller than his 6’2” by maybe half a head. Maybe he’d been exposed to too much horror and sex as a kid, but he still couldn’t deny the appeal of the few curves she did have contrasted against her almost Slenderman figure. There was a wild, almost feral energy to her high, sharp cheekbones, the dusky and dark grey of her skin, and teal undertone flush. She looked how he imagined a queen of monsters might, or maybe a dragon given human form. Beautiful in her wickedness, her looks were only amplified by the air or mourning surrounding her. Which said more about the type of people he wanted to fuck than anything else, but fuck it, no way was he doing introspection when he was going to lose his virginity in the next hour. And besides, he liked to think Vriska would have been proud. 

Yeah, he was definitely getting off this train of thought. 

“The defense is wearing his cool and comfy as fuck magic godtier PJs. What is your point, prosecution?”

“That the defense is wearing way too much clothing, so if he wishes to become exhibitionist D he should get naked already, the prosecution is getting impatient now that she has revealed all her evidence.”

“Well damn, when you put it like that, what am I waiting for? Let’s get naked already.”

To his credit, he did strip and didn’t hesitate too much in doing so. Being naked around people was nothing new to him, and Terezi couldn’t really see him anyway. He did want to get the show on the road as well before he fell into roleplaying some combination of Law and Order and Phoenix Wright with her instead of fucking like he’d asked her too when he’d shuffled in to see her splayed out across the couch.

He wasn’t sure what had come over him, what had bumped up his courage enough to get him to ask, but he was glad for it because he really did want to fuck Terezi. And be fucked by her. And fuck her while she was fucking him if that was anatomically possible. They weren’t together, between his complicated relationship with the quadrants, Karkat didn’t have a monopoly on that, her complicated relationship with them, his preference for human romance and their shared past, he doubted they’d ever be boyfriend and girlfriend, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. And it certainly didn’t mean he didn’t want to have sex, even if it was so awkward just thinking about it now made him want to hang his head in second-hand embarrassment.

“So, where were we in this chain of evidence again? I think it was you kissing me? Or was it you were about to get on your knees and beg for the release of my d...efence.”

“Wow, way to ask to get a blow job, Strider. Real fucking smooth.” Despite her protests, she was already getting to her knees. Dave sucked in a breath when they thunked against the hardwood floor, he should really invest in carpet or at least an area rug. Or hell, even some knee pads would do, because even if she didn’t use them, he would. Terezi wasn’t the only one he wanted to go down on after all there was also- HOLY FUCK, there were teeth on his dick.

“Whoa there partner, slow down your carnivorous horses, bucko. Just what- Actually no. Just no. Nope. No fucking way. Full Defcon 5, red alert, get your snippy shark teeth off my dick, he’s sensitive and will faint if you draw blood.”

“I got it at whoa Dave, there was no need for the rest.”

“It’s like you don’t know me at all, Pyrope.”

“No, it’s like I’ve never sucked a human bulge before!”

“You have to suck off a troll dick with teeth? Damn, the definition of suck must be really fucked up on Alternia.”

“Dave!”

Well fuck, she was really upset. What the hell? It wasn’t that big a deal that she didn’t know what to do like she said, she’d never done this before. Plus, he wasn’t a troll, and it wasn’t like he needed a blow job. Really, the incident was more awkward than scary. If he were the type to be thinking in the moment instead of afterward, he’d be a mess of nerves, rambling, innuendo and inappropriate commentary.

“I mean, I’m no expert because try as I might, I can’t get flexible to suck my own dick, but the way the internet told it, you’re supposed to wrap your lips around, hollow your cheeks and bob.”

Terezi blinked her thanks. Once for the information and once for Dave not giving her shit for freaking out. She knew exactly what had come over her, old insecurities about her worth and time spent with Gamzee she didn’t remember well. She knew it would hit her again too, though next time she’d be ready. Or, better yet, passed out from a fuck coma.

Teeth tucked away behind her lips, she pressed herself as far as she could on the dick in her mouth, sealed her lips and bobbed. His dick twitched and pulsed in reply, a response that was almost as good as the taste of salt and apple tinged with just a hint of cherry. She hummed around it, lapping at his shaft between short bobs and slow swallowing.

“Like voreing a lollipop.”

To Dave, her words were muffled, but otherwise understandable. “Mhmm, shit, holy fucking shit, you give an amazing blow job. That- holy fuck, what you do with your mouth should be illegal. Also, if you ever say vore ever again, it will be way too soon. Please never do that again, especially with my dick in your mouth, which you just got hard. Do you want to be the first-ever case of making a guy lose his erection because of vore talk? No, no, the fuck you don’t.”

Terezi sucked harder to shut him up. Instead, he moaned in response, a low, crooning sound that echoed up from deep in his chest. Jackpot. “Heh, that’s what I thought.”

Dave had no right to be this hot. Shades halfway down his nose pale blonde hair gelled into a stylized mess, stupid, but delicious smelling, outfit and a lithe, but toned body which was still gaining muscle was not quite her idea of stunning beauty, but he made it work. Maybe it was the perfect angle his back was arched, the way he couldn’t help but bounce his hips into her mouth or the slack-jawed look of pleasure building on his face. Maybe it was a combination or none of the above; whatever it was, she could not and would not deny that she wanted so much more than a dick in her mouth from Dave Strider.

“Forget the dick licking.” She rolled her tongue over the head of his cock as she pulled off, which earned a repressed shutter and whine. Interesting, she’d have to check that out later, see if different parts of a dick were more or less sensitive. 

“I said fuck me, and I meant it.”

“I. Well. Fuck. I ain’t gonna say no to that. I’ve got condoms in the dresser drawer of my room. I know I can’t get you troll pregnant, you definitely can’t get me butt baby pregnant, and interspecies STI’s are probably not a thing, but better safe than sorry, yeah? Plus I’ve been practicing putting them on, and I can do it one-handed now, like a boss.”

“Bet I can put it on faster than you, the loser is the one who’s on the bottom getting crushed.”

“Oh fuck yeah, you are on.”

Terezi bolted past him, elbowing him hard in the ribs on the way. What a cheat. He didn’t stay staggered for long though, he caught his balance and threw himself at his room, arriving just as Terezi was pawing through the wrong drawer. He knelt yanked open the right one, the one on the left side of his bed, and pulled out a fistful of apple-scented and cherry-flavored condoms he’d alchemized for just this occasion. She was on him for a moment, biting and kissing in equal measures as she grabbed for the condoms in his hands as well as the ones in the drawer. His hands and wrists were getting scratched all to hell, but he didn’t notice as he pushed right back, his own bony elbow smashing against her cheek.

With a yelp, she hit the bed hard, more stunned than hurt. Dave was stronger than he looked though, that was going to leave a bruise. “Foul! Unnecessary roughness on the prosecutor.”

He’d known he’d done something wrong the moment his elbow connected with her jaw. He’d felt the bony smack and still felt the singing tingling of hitting his funny bone. “Shit, fuck shit shit fuck, shit. Are you okay? I didn’t break anything, did I? I know trolls are tough, but you screamed there, my elbows are hard, and I didn’t hit a spot known for resilience. Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Dave smelled almost green around the gills, and his voice was not just nervous, but almost scared. What the hell? Sure, he was not near as calm and collected as he liked everyone to believe, but this had just been an accident. She’d taken much worse traveling around an unfamiliar place. Really, The incident was more awkward than scary. “I’m fine cool guy, just a scratch. But if you’re really that upset about it, you can forfeit the win to me.

He was going to feel bony elbows poking into him for a month. “Yeah sure, that’s chill. “He punctuated the agreement with a classic Dave shrug. “But uh, only after I’m, you know, inside you. Because fucking one another is definitely an anatomical possibility I’m vibing here.”

He tore open the condom and rolled it onto his dick, which was still hard despite the scare from moments earlier. “Which means we’re bunping chest to chest instead of front to back. We could sit, but you already called crushing me and double fucking isn’t going to work if you’re on my lap, so either I gotta crush you, or you gotta get up.”

“I’m getting back at you for the bruised cheek, so expect a flurry of my elbows, Dave.” She stood up, grabbed his wrist, and yanked him flush against her. He was shorter than she, but not by so much that she couldn’t roll her hips against his hard-on. His breath stuttered then stuck when her bulge, already dripping wet with pre material, wrapped around the base of his cock to try to pull him toward her equally soaked nook.

“Holy fuck, I can’t believe it. We’re doing this, we’re making it happen.”

“Oh my god, shut up and fuck me already, Strider.”

He didn’t need telling twice; at least three times actually, but who was counting? Not him. “In it.”

He grabbed his dick and her bulge, giving both a fond squeeze before untangling himself like her bulge was a pair of tangled headphones. As he did, it squeezed through his fingers and wrapped around his wrist with ease. The soft, squelching sounds were a little strange but hot. Fitting for Terezi, who, right now, had a shark’s smile on her face and her head tilted back as if she was in ecstasy.

“Close to finishing already? Damn, I figured we wouldn’t last bein’ virgins and all, but your dick isn’t even in my ass yet.”

“And your bulge isn’t in my nook, but I smell the distinct smell of mayonnaise.”

“That’s pre, and it’s a totally natural thing that happens to guys even when they are a long way from cumming.” He could argue as much as he liked, but that wasn’t going to change the fact that he wasn’t going to last. He was already so riled up he could feel heat pulsing deep in his core and working it’s way downward with every beat of his heart. Even with only his hand wrapped around his shaft he’d be in danger of losing it early if he didn’t hurry it up. And he would, but the angle wasn’t right, he didn’t think he was lined up well to begin with, he couldn’t be certain the spread of the lips he’d glimpsed when he’d looked down was her nook or some other bit of alien anatomy, and even if he were, her bulge was going to get in the way again. No way that wasn’t going to be an awkward problem. Shit, what had he been thinking, thinking that this was a hot and sexy idea? It wasn’t, it was just weird.”

“This is how you put your bulge in someone, Strider.” She didn’t know what had caused the stall and wasn’t going to look. Not yet. Instead, she wrapped her hands around his ass and hitched his hips up in an easy show of strength that allowed her to press the tapered tip of her bulge into the tight squeeze of Dave’s ass.

An alien dick pressing past his rim was a horrible time to remember that lube did, in fact, exist. For being the Time guy, he sure did have terrible timing, but with his voice caught in his throat along with his breath, he couldn’t say a word. He reached down with clumsy hands instead, fingers reaching in and grasping blindly until he got a hand wrapped around her very wet bulge.

Oh right, trolls came pre-lubed. He was so fucking stupid.  
“...Sorry, sorry. I forgot lube was a thing, panicked, grabbed your dick, remembered lube didn’t need to be a thing because your package comes out pre-lubed and now I’m grabbing your dick while you’re trying to fuck into and I should be doing the same, but I’m a terrible combination of coward and perfectionist. So you know, if the angle isn’t exactly 69 degrees, because of course the angle as to be the sex number when we’re having sex, I’d be a heathen otherwise, I’m too scared to go in like Hackerman. I’m pretty sure I have it down now, but you know, keep doing what you’re doing and fuck me.”

He snatched his hand away as if burned and tried to shove it in his pockets. He was naked though, so all he succeeded in was spreading troll splooge over his hip and thigh.

“The prosecution accepts that testimony into court so long as the defense tells her what lube is.

“...”  
“That is the saddest darn thing I’ve ever done heard.”

Terezi cackled, loud, bright, and awful. Dave had heard cats in heat with more musical yowls than her laugh, but right now, it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. Maybe that had something to do with the way she was pushing her bulge deeper and deeper into him.

She moved slow, steady, and unsure. She had no damn clue what she was doing, that was clear. Every time his muscles clenched around the pliable muscle of her bulge she froze, went still as a statue, not even daring to breathe until his walls relaxed around her. That never took long, he was an expert in loosening himself up, albeit with different muscle groups, despite feeling so fucking full. Each inch of her bulge felt thicker than the last. Each second which passed made it seem like it was expanding inside of him, pressing him open more and more. He felt gaped and like he couldn’t possibly be spread a fraction more, but then she pushed in more and he did. His muscles relaxed again, and he could feel her up inside his every inch.

When her bulge gave its first tentative thrash inside him, he almost came. And he did scream, he shouted her name to the heavens as he clenched tight around her. His thoughts fuzzed white then almost fuzzed out for good, anchored to reality only by the feeling of being filled with a dick almost cool to the touch.

He didn’t stand a chance when her bulge, still trapped tight inside because he couldn’t relax, got impatient and poked against his prostate. He came hard, while his dick was pressed against the crease where her leg met her groin. He was supposed to be inside her. Oh well, there would always be round two, and he couldn’t be angry at himself when orgasmic bliss was shutting down what was left of his thoughts.

Dave cumming around her, he squeezed so tight it had felt like he’d pinched her bulge closed, was enough to send her over the edge. She came deep inside him, filling him even more with her material. Too late for a bucket now, the bed was going to need some serious deep cleaning. Even now, bright and watery teal blue material was leaking out of him, dripping down their thighs and onto the bed. She swiped some off with a hand and sucked it off. “Mmhm, razzleberry. Want a taste?”

She didn’t wait for a reply before collecting some more and then swirling her finger around the head of his dick. A yelp, hard shudder, and another dribble of cum informed her for certain that, yes, the head of his dick was more sensitive than the rest. She’d have to give blowing him another chance. And letting him fuck her, though maybe she’d make that wait for round three.

“Fuck, ain’t you never heard of overstimulation. What are you trying to do, milk my dick dry?” He popped her fingers in his mouth and licked off all the cum, but even then, all it tasted like was salt. Thick salt with a gooey texture, ugh.

“Or poison me? Either that needs pineapple flavoring ASAP or jizz just tastes awful.”

“It’s your jizz too, you know.”

“Yeah, and have you seen my diet? Of course it tastes terrible, but you actually eat stuff with flavor and shit.”

“I think you’re just afraid to admit it’s all your fault that it tastes terrible.”

“I think I have no idea what you’re talking about, the defense rests. Like literally, because again, overstimulation is a thing, and if you bump my prostate, again, I’m going to hit that and not be ready for round two for way too fucking long.”

“Oh, so there’s a round two now?”

“Yeah, you bet my freshly fucked ass there is a round two, I have a promise to make good on, a blow job to get, one to give and for dinner tonight we’re eating out.”

“Is that a sex thing, and, if so, is it for you or for me?”

“...”  
“I take it back, now that is the saddest damn thing I’ve ever done heard. I don’t care if it’s 3pm in the afternoon, I’m officially tagging this as mourning sex. RIP, press F to mourn, press F again to fuck in like ten minutes and one change of sheets later.”

“Why bother, I’m only going to make you ruin them again.”

“Holy shit. That. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, you are. Now, please, for the love of fuck, unfuck me, my ass is starting to tingle.”

She cackled again but did as asked and pulled out. She was feeling sensitive too, though she could go another round right now if she took Dave’s dick for round two instead of three. She didn’t need to clean up, right? Okay, maybe she did, but she had a much more interesting way in mind than a bunch of towels. 

“So, how do you feel about being licked clean?”


End file.
